WHEN HYPERCOMPETENCE FAILS US

By Amber Steffen, Communications & Design  

Summer often brings a different rhythm – travel, home assignments, teammates gone for extended stretches, a shift in pace as life around you slows down. (I don’t know about you but extreme heat means recognizing I’m just not capable of doing as much in a day!) Whatever this particular stretch looks like for you, it tends to arrive as a natural reflection point in the year, a moment when the usual momentum breaks just enough to let you notice how you’re actually doing. 

For a lot of us, it doesn’t come very naturally. In fact, cross-cultural workers generally are much more geared to hypercompetence, the tendency to lean on one’s own capability as a shield, to keep functioning so well that the stress underneath goes unnoticed. But we need to get better at addressing the underlying stressors unique to this lifestyle – because not doing so leads to subsequent burnout and grief that is painful – it is ultimately costly to our bodies, families and to the work we’ve been called to do.

What the Numbers Say

Between 2018 and 2023, Sears (1) a missionary and researcher, surveyed 739 cross-cultural workers to try and better understand what leads people to leave the field prematurely. The results are sobering:

• 74% experienced burnout
• 70% experienced anxiety in their family
• 68% reported stress significantly affecting their health
• 67% experienced depression in their family
• 61% had difficulty setting boundaries on what was demanded of them
• 59% had traumatic experiences 

If any of that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.These aren’t the ordinary work / life stressors everyone carries. They’re layered on top of a set of pressures unique to cross-cultural life, including:

• Recurring grief and loss with every (often frequent) transition
• Identity disruption – the loss of a role, a sense of competence, a sense of self
• Language fatigue that wears down personality and self-expression
• Chronic low-grade stress from operating outside your native culture
• Separation from extended family and support networks
• Disenfranchised grief – loss that others don’t recognize, which makes it hard to even ask for support (2) 

But the good news? 

Regular rhythms of rest, renewal, seeking professional counseling and care, engaging in healthy spiritual formation, and setting better boundaries – regular, intentional practices and seasons where we step back and evaluate where we’re really at can make a huge difference in the above mentioned stressors! And instead of drowning in mental and physical distress, we might even learn how much we can grow in grace and resilience through it! (In fact, check out this webinar by Christy Otten to learn more about how stress can in fact be healthy!) 

And perhaps with a healthy resilience, we might also rediscover the joys that drew us to this life in the first place – the ones that are easy to lose sight of when we’re just trying to keep going:

• The richness of multi-ethnic community and friendships that cross barriers and make us good neighbors 
• The quiet surprises of watching God move in places we didn’t expect
• The sense of being part of something bigger than ourselves
• The particular way God shows up for us overseas in ways we might otherwise take for granted 

These aren’t small things. They’re often why we said yes in the first place, and they’re still there, waiting to be noticed again.

So this summer, we want to invite you to slow down and take stock of your mental health – and perhaps engage in a few of the resources we have listed below. The cost of this calling (given what the numbers show above) will inevitably take a toll on all of us. But so too can these experiences fuel boundless depths of resilience and purpose towards something greater. May we all learn to walk slower so we can catch where we might be overworking and under-reflecting on where we’re at. It just might be the best thing we could do this summer. 

Ways to Get Started 

GUESTHOUSES & RETREAT CENTERS (BY REGION):

Sometimes it’s helpful to land in a restful place with a healing conversation and people who understand what you’re living through. We’ve tried to compile a robust list of guesthouses around the world for you to check out. https://olivetreecounseling.org/retreats/

EXERCISES & REFLECTIONS:

• Walking with Jesus PDF
• Managing Priorities & Expectations PDF

COURSES: 

• Annual Debrief Course- Global Trellis ($150 – 200 with family debrief included) 
• James Covey: Family Retreat – Guide for Cross-Cultural Workers (Free)

FURTHER READING / LISTENING: 

• Sacred Rhythms: Arranging our Lives for Spiritual Formation – by Ruth Haley Barton
• Global Trellis Podcast: More than a Machine: Your Personal Dreams Have Value 
• Velvet Ashes (a variety of articles on other workers’ experiences of burnout) like this one
• See Beyond: Escape the Busyness and Benefit from a Vacation

REACH OUT FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING:

And as always, if we can be of help, don’t hesitate to reach out for a formal debrief or 2-week intensive counseling session with us at Olive Tree!

(We also have a robust list of clinical referrals if we don’t have availability for you. Please don’t hesitate to reach out for help navigating this season.) 

DATA SOURCES: 

1. Sears, A. (2020-2023). The Missions Experience [Blog] https://themissionsexpereince.weebly.com/blog
2. Missio Nexus (2022) 2022 missions staffing attrition. https://missionexus.org/research/2022-missions-staffing-attrition/